So what do you do when you hate Gauteng and hate August and September months in Gauteng even more? Well, you go to Comic Con of course.

Given, my attitude towards the place is probably a bit harsh, but having lived there most of my life, I can attest to the havoc the air plays with sensitive mucous membranes during the “windy season” (this interim season between winter and summer which does not quite replace spring, but runs in parallel with it).

I do have other reasons for visiting the place I’ve been referring to as Mordor for the past decade. Since migrating locally to Cape Town a few years ago, I’d left most of my people up in Mordor, and though I cannot fathom why they would stick it out in the godforsaken place, I still love them dearly.

Anyways, so Comic Con Africa 2018 was sort of a double whammy along with visiting my besties up in Gauteng.

Conned out of our Momoa

One of the biggest bummers about Comic Con was the fact that Jason Momoa had to cancel his appearance. I mean, I’d say about 85% of our girls’ reason for going was just to be in his proximity (even though we only had day tickets and no special meet-and-greet or VIP perks). But, ah well, you cannot blame a man for being dedicated to his job (maybe just a little?)

Luckily the organisers had called on a troosprysie for the ladies in the form of Travis Fimmel of Vikings fame. (Yummy).


Fumbling for Fimmel

I’ve mentioned this in previous blogs, but I think it deserves mentioning again that I have had major reconstructive surgery of my foot in 2018, so walking is still a fucking bugger! This, of course, is not something I’d thought through properly beforehand. Well, since Comic Con had never been hosted in South Africa or Kyalami for that matter, we couldn’t have anticipated how far the walk would be (or how crappy the directional signage to show us where to go).

By the time we reached the entry gates for general admission, my moon boot (or stormtrooper boot since I’d sprayed it white) was hosting a sweaty, sore and dusty foot.

We made our way through the exhibition stalls first, and motherfucker were we glad for those bigassed fans scattered here and there. Why? Well, not only was it hot as hell (Comic Con was leading up to a nice Gauteng heatwave), but there was practically NO shade anywhere.

Having considered dressing up in cosplay before going, I was super glad that we’d decided against it as WE WILL HAVE BOILED ALIVE! Next, we made it through the gaming exhibition to go find our spots in front of the main stage to see Mr Fimmel. Seating was meagre, so while my friends sat on the floor, I had to stand to the side, given that my moonboot didn’t make the whole sitting and standing up again thing very graceful. This was a fucking pain.

Yes, yes, we did freak out about seeing Travis Fimmel (who wouldn’t?), but the whole thing was quite short and dare I say a bit disorganised? Neither the presenter nor Travis seemed to have much of an idea what they wanted to ask or answer, so it was a bit of a letdown.

Foooood! Gimme Foood!

While most of the beer tents didn’t have queues at all, the same could not be said for the food stalls/trucks, which had hella long queues which seemed to weave through each other.

We all worked on our tans (#sunburn) as we waited in the searing heat to fill our bellies. At some point during all this you kind of give up on caring about your stank as everyone starts to smell like the moist rivers of sweat running down their boobs, butts and armpits. Perhaps the organisers thought it would give everyone some Comic Con street cred, who knows?

Unfortunately, somewhere in all this, my white bread snowflake constitution went haywire and my one eye started burning, itching, tearing up and acting like a goddamned pansy! I walked around with my one eye shut or bandana pulled over this source of pain and shame for the remainder of the day (fuck you pollen of Mordor!)

Memorabilia or something at least

As we did our second trip through the exhibition stands, I was a bit irked that there were so few suitable trinkets to choose from to take home to my kids. Yes, yes, the exhibitioners were amazing, but with kids of 11 and 16 respectively, I struggled to find something suitable to take home. I ended up buying an official Comic Con “Groot and Rocket” plush for my youngest. She responded by saying that it did not look like Groot in the very least (which I had to agree with) and by cutting the plush up so Groot and Rocket could be separated.

She now uses Groot for random tasks like holding lids up, playing doorstop or mopping up paint. For my eldest, who is a vegan, I got a smart straw. Although she doesn’t like anything about comic books, superheroes or the like, I was quite impressed that she endeared herself to the Hulk hessian bag which it came with.

Concluding the Con

All in all it was a swell experience (as swell as my swollen eye), and I would definitely do it again. Although not everyone donned cosplay, the people who did entertained us throughout the day. Some even stayed in character throughout the whole thing.

However, I don’t think I could do it again until the organisers give some more attention to shading (I’m throwing shade here) and seating. How about shaded seating?

I would also encourage even more exhibitioners to join in, although I couldn’t be sure how profitable it is for them, but there sure was enough space around the MTN stage (or whatever other corporate guys they were, I can’t quite recall) to increase the shopping experience as most of the space indoors had been given to the gaming expo.

Also, consider moving the thing to a place closer to me (a.k.a. Cape Town), because clearly everything is about me.

Lastly—a Momoa with my Mimosa would be really swell. Hop on it guys.